Choice Relationships
Good Relationships Just Don't Happen
Volume 1 June 2006
In This Issue:
Welcome
Overview
Tips
Relationship Between Stress and Marriage
Offerings
Welcome to the first edition of my virtual newsletter "Choice Relationships." After practicing privately for over 20 years, I feel compelled to share the insights I have gained through my personal and professional experiences. I offer these insights not as the 'final word' but rather to inspire and stimulate your own process.
The Art of Choice Defined
The dictionary defines art as "the conscious use of a skill and creative imagination." Choice is defined as "The act of deciding on, or picking out." The Art of Choice is the process of learning to consciously explore possible options in order to make conscious decisions, rather than reacting mindlessly to circumstance.
It's important to recognize that there are always choices and options. I see choice as the tool that opens the door to emotional freedom. When we walk through the door, our fullest potential is available to us as well as to others.
Social research has shown that people engaged in healthy and happy relationships are more satisfied and productive, not just in their committed relationship, but in their social lives, with their families, and at the work place. Choice is the tool to achieving power, success and ultimately, happiness.
Choose to Relieve Stress
It's known that stress is in the "eye of the beholder." As individuals, we each perceive our own stress differently and what is stressful to one individual, may seem like a walk in the park to another.
The way we choose to handle our stress however, is a point of control for all of us. First, we must accept that we cannot control another person nor situations of life. By choosing to stay calm and finding ways to handle our stress, we are able to respond with less emotionally reactive behavior. This choice results in responding from a place of strength rather than out of our fear and insecurities.
Stress Tips:
- Pay Attention to Your Body - when muscles seem to tighten up, this is a clear signal that you are starting to feel stress.
- BREATHE - take long deep breaths through your nose, hold for a few seconds and slowly release air through pursed lips.
Relationship Between Stress and Marriage
As stated by Howard Cohen in "Why a Good Marriage is Good for Heart and Health," there is a direct correlation between stress levels and physical and emotional health. Individuals that live under lower stress levels experience better general health, as well as happier and healthier relationships. They have less absence at work, resulting in more productivity and higher levels of success. Those living with high stress levels, not only are subject to more health problems and disease, but stress has been noted as the best predictor of divorce.
Debra Umberson adds in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior , that a happy marriage is the most important factor in maintaining good physical health. Couples that are in strained relationships, typically experience strained health, as well.
Choosing to Live a Stress-less Life
Much of this newsletter was dedicated to introducing you to the choices we have regarding the stress in our lives. If you are interested in exploring the ideas I have touched upon in this newsletter in greater depth, I am happy to be able to offer an audio CD which expands upon the concepts discussed in this newsletter.
On my CD, "Choosing to Live a Stress-less Life," listen to me talk about the lifestyle choices we make - and learn how they impact on our levels of stress and our health. It is possible in this hectic world to have a stress-less life!