Choice Relationships: Being Positive in Your Relationship
Circulation 875
Volume 9 February 2007
In This Issue:
My Personal Insights:
Choice Tips:
Additional Resources I Recommend:
Empowering Information and Tools:
This was an unusual Valentine's Day for me. It was merely the 14th day of February. When I wished my husband, "Happy Valentine's Day," in the morning, it was clear he had forgotten. There weren't the usual beautiful arrangement of flowers sent to me. I prepared a lovely dinner and presented him with cards (we don't generally exchange gifts). There were no cards for me.
My husband, who is always wonderful about sentimentality, has been totally consumed with involvement and anxiety regarding the critical state of his father's health. I let it all go - after all, what really counts is the sentiment we express all the other days of the year.
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ALWAYS INSIGHTFUL I wanted to thank you for your informative newletters... Melissa N. I'VE LEARNED A LOT FROM YOUR PERSONAL INSIGHTS Thanks for your insight on relationships. I am a widow trying to start a new relationship, and surely, your advice has been a big help. Keep up the good work, Dr K!!"
YOUR INSIGHTS HELPED ME IMPORVE Thank you so much for your helpful insights. They have helped improve my life and my relationships with others. Elizabeth, Australia Thank you, great advice!!!!! David S. |
The Positive Consequence of Being Positive in Your Relationship
February is the month that we think of as the "love month" - certainly Feb. 14 is Valentine's Day. Many of you may not know that the week before is also marriage education week. So, I think this is a good time to help us be mindful of the fact that it's important to let our significant others know we appreciate them on days other than just those that Hallmark deems as important. Being appreciative of one another and being positive in your relationships is very significant to the well-being of the partnership.
Yes, many of you do remember to make efforts on special occasions. But when you let your partner know that he or she matters to you on a regular basis, it really has much more impact.
- You need to be positive in your relationship. For every 5 positive things you say, 1 negative statement will outweigh it. So by saying or doing lots of positive things, it's like putting savings in the bank.
- Speaking of doing, when relationship experts are asked how couples can divorce proof their relationship and also make them more content, the answer is to show each other more appreciation. Doing lots of small things often is what counts!
- Positive interactions help us secrete oxytocin. This is a hormone that makes you feel good; as a matter of fact, it is the same chemical that is released while making love.
- A survey was done by Reader's Digest which indicated that laughter was rated, by couples, as more important to their marriage than sex.
- We "catch" emotions from our partners. So, if one of you is positive, it will have a positive impact on your partner. The same goes for negative emotions. Clearly, being positive has more benefits, both individually and as a couple.
Additional Resources I Recommend:
Carey, Benedict. "For Couples, Reaction to Good News Matters More Than Reaction to Bad," The New York Times, 12/5/06.
Cole, Diane. "Divorceproof Your Marriage," US News and World Reports , 12/17/06.
Goleman, Daniel. "Neural Wifi," The Networker , Nov/Dec. 2006.
Empowering Information and Tools:
Good news! If you weren't able to attend my last teleseminar on "How-to-Fight So You Both Win," I'll be offering it again! This FREE teleseminar will be offered on Thursday, March 22 at 9:00pm (ET)/ 6:00pm (PT). Watch for an e-mail letting you know how to sign up for this FREE teleseminar. I'm positive you'll learn some important skills for a choice relationship!
Want to take some positive steps to bring vitality back into your marriage. Check out my book, Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, Make It Last